In my last note I referenced to this aspect of my present which I was 'unhealthily fixating' on. This note pertains to that. In short, this aspect manifested itself recently. Unfortunately I can't give details since this is a public thread (wouldn't want this information to fall into the wrong hands).
Now I've been thinking about this for a while now; pondering, wondering what might come of it. In a split-second decision I decided to act on my musings. I was a wreak; who knew what the future would hold for me. After the fact, it turned out pretty good. I'm glad I acted on impulse and just went with the flow. Hopefully I'll learn to do this more often; by 'this' I mean taking my future in my own hands instead of letting others decide for me. It's a nice change of scenery.
Of course, with this comes a level of uncertainty; and believe me, there's a lot of it. I think my uncertainty at this moment is most comparable to the world -1 in Super Mario Brothers (all you NES fans out there should know what I'm talking about). For those who don't know: in this world, the end takes you back to the beginning, then repeats again and again until you run out of time or die. This is how I feel with the situation I'm in. If I try to take matters into my own hands, I feel like I'll end up back where I started, but if I just coast through without taking the initiative, I'll end up nowhere anyways.
I suppose with this sort of thing it's always best to try your luck, in the offchance that something miraculous happens. But at this point it all seems so futile anyways.
But I'm not gonna let this get the best of me. I'm going to continue putting myself out there, hoping for the circumstance that favors what I'm trying to achieve. But until that time, I'll be sitting on a cloud of uncertainty, waiting patiently for a positive reaction to my endeavors.
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